Trans Men Are Men, Not a Category for Fetish

Gay apps have not always got inclusion right.

For a long time, trans people have had to deal with being treated as a curiosity, a fantasy, fetish or a separate “type” instead of being treated as full people.

On dating apps, that can become even more obvious. Some people are not looking to connect with trans men as men. They are looking at them through a fetish, a stereotype, or an idea they have built in their head.

That is not inclusion. That is objectification.

For trans men, visibility on gay apps can be complicated. Being included matters, but how that inclusion is handled matters too. If “trans” is treated like a searchable fantasy or a sexual category, it can quickly become uncomfortable, unsafe, or dehumanising.

Trans men should be able to use gay apps as men. Not as an exception. Not as a novelty. Not as something for other people to reduce to one part of their identity.

On Brodar, we want identity tags to work differently. A tag like “trans” should be something someone can choose for themselves if it feels right. It should work as a tribe, a community marker, or a way to be visible on their own terms. It should not be a label that invites fetishisation or gives other people permission to treat someone like a category.

There is a big difference between being seen and being objectified.

Brodar is built around the idea that gay men should have more control over how they describe themselves. That includes trans men. Identity should belong to the person using it, not the people looking at them.

If any trans men using Brodar ever feel fetishised, uncomfortable, targeted, or reduced to a label, we encourage them to contact support in the app or message us through our social media. We want to listen, respond, and make sure Brodar stays a space where people feel respected.

Better gay apps should make space for people without turning them into a fetish. That is the standard we believe in.

Sources:

Archives of Sexual Behavior: Fetishization of Transgender and Nonbinary Peoplehttps://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8035091/

GLAAD and eharmony: New Data on Coming Out in a Dating App Culturehttps://glaad.org/eharmony-and-glaad-team-for-new-data-on-coming-out-in-a-dating-app-culture/

Relationship Experiences of Transgender and Non-Binary Adultshttps://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12573564/